Was your birth story written? Did you feel elated and powerful as if you could do anything after your baby was born? Or did you have the feelings of disempowered and discourges?
Did you feel you had given away your choices? That you allowed others to dictate your experience, while knowing deep inside you were settling for less than what you wanted?
When my first baby was born, my fear, and my submission, stood in the way of my receiving something vitally important, but I couldn't grasp it at the time. I didn't know what was missing, but still felt disappointment.
The priorities of the doctor and hospital staff can compete with women throughout labor. They "deliver" babies- and some women want to Birth. They measure and weigh and score and track time- and some women want to live it, embrace it, BE the process unleashed through the body.
Are you looking for faith in the female body to birth? Do you hear doubt about birth, even in the language? "We'll see if you progress." As a threat to get labor moving, keep it going: "They may want to intervene IF..."
It is not just about having a baby. It is about BE-ing the powerful woman you are. Because your body was created for this. Because you don't need a stranger to tell you to stop making so much noise. To tell you when and how to push! Because you could roar the baby out of you if there wasn't so much interruption and disturbance.
Maybe you knew this inside your core being, and needed help with the words for it. This power, this triumph, is the birthright you can own as you step into mothering.
If you didn't own this power then- if you don't own it yet- maybe it's time to recount your birth with another. Another powerful woman can walk the journey with you.
As you attend your labor and birth a second time, in memory, you can act as your own advocate. This time you are separate, so labor does not prevent clear communication. This time the power of surrender can encompass and tame any regret. This time you can be peaceful, so you can hold your other self as your sister, without judgment, and bring her to harmony- now true mother, holding a power that is not in conflict with anything, opening to a surrender that does not need to resist.
Women are made of strong stuff. You can grow to hold power that does not need to be right, does not need to clarify, to compensate, to explain. The power of surrender, housed in your womanly body, is true to yourself, confident with your decisions. You do not need to resist the ideas of others in order to embrace your choices.
This is women's work- we birth ourselves as we learn to surrender.